I’ve spent weeks and months thinking, praying, searching, arguing, pleading, begging, accepting and denying all the while knowing that in the end, I would be right here-sitting at my dining room table typing this post to let you know of a semi-major decision in my life.
I’m staying in Syracuse.
Hold up right there. Before you start setting off fireworks and planning a celebration (or purchasing a gallon of ice cream and a sappy movie to get you through your depression) let me explain.
I don’t know how long I will be here.
Anyone close enough to me knows that my plan was to be gone before the first snowfall (you know, the one two weeks ago). For a boy from southeast Mississippi, the snow was a blast for a few weeks back in 2011. Now, entering what will be my third winter in Syracuse, I’m over it. I wasn’t made for winters like this.
That being said, God has different plans for me right now. To say that I know exactly what they are would be a lie. I don’t. What I do know is that August 31st, God did one of the most incredible things I’ve ever experienced in my life and since then, my life has been completely changed. (That is a completely different blog post that I plan to write soon, but if I try now, then this post will be far longer than I intended for it to be-check back later for that post).
So, I’m here. For now. Maybe for a while. Maybe not. I honestly don’t know. What I do know is that in all that has transpired in my life, I’ve learned that trusting in him and his plan will take me farther than anything my finite mind could conjure up as a good idea.
Please know that for a guy who moved to Syracuse in the summer of 2011 with the sole intent of getting a Masters degree in Fashion Photography then moving to New York City the summer after graduation, this is a huge pill for me to swallow. I’ve already been here far longer than I thought I would be.
Don’t get me wrong. I love Syracuse. I love the people, my current job, my friends and my church. This just wasn’t my plan. (Ha! MY plan. Funny human.) I know that as time goes on, God will continue to reveal his plan to me and I will continue to share that with you, but for now, I’m here and I’m going to continue to let God heal me and grow me and use me however he sees fit.
I hope you see my sincerity in this post and know that even as I’m writing this, my flesh is still struggling with the decision. I know it’s the right thing to do, but as you know, sometimes the right thing isn’t always the easiest thing.
PS Please send more wool socks.